jokes-post some jokes

by **Szeryf** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 15:55

- Name?
- Abu Dalah Sarafi.
- Sex?
- Four times a week.
- No, no, no..... male or female?
- Male, female...... sometimes camel.......

by **Viduus** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 16:24

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

by **Miszczu** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 17:15

II World War. Russians soldiers are profaneting the german graveyard. They're jumping on graves and reading by the way who lie there:
- Albert Hess
- Bruno Schwarz
- Herman Guttman
- Edward von Klinkerhoffen
- Achtung Minen

by **warren-the-ape** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 17:44

hehehehehe lolll all 3 Very Nice and funny of course :lol:

by **undeadwarrior** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 17:58

why do you think the showers in WOII had 11 holes where the water could get out
...
...
...
cause the jews had only 10 fingers
:twisted:

nasty germans

by **Invincible** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 19:57

Rabidplaybunny87: Okay, so my neighbors officially hate me
GarbageStan23: why?
Rabidplaybunny87: Well, me, david and andrew were having a bonfire in the backyard, and we were making s'mores and all... and suddenly we here sirens, and see a firetruck turn into the street in front of us.
Rabidplaybunny87: So we all went running to see what was up, and our neigbor's house was on fire!
GarbageStan23: oh shit!
Rabidplaybunny87: Yeah, and when we got there, the wife was crying into her husbands arms, and we were just kinda standing there, and then she saw us, and then like for 10 seconds, gave us the dirtiest look ever
Rabidplaybunny87: Turns out, we were still holding our sticks with marshmallows on it, watching the fire....
Rabidplaybunny87: talk about bad timing...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<scirDSL> I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

<Raven> I tried setting my hotmail password to penis.
<Raven> It said my password wasn't long enough.

lol bash.org owns

by **undeadwarrior** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 19:59

roflol

the last one they said it wasnt long enough

by **Xander** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 20:54

yeah good one for the last !!! The two firsts make me laught too very nice boys XD !!! But for the german graves i didn't understand.....
I only speak french English and spanish so...... :arrow:

by **Miszczu** » Tue Sep 05, 2006 21:09

Heh, there on graves are names of R.I.P. people who liying there. But the last one means: Atention mines! ;P

by **Invincible** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 0:20

Miszczu wrote:Heh, there on graves are names of R.I.P. people who liying there. But the last one means: Atention mines! ;P

oh lol, now that one makes sense

by **Viduus** » Wed Sep 06, 2006 14:58

yeah I love reading at ww.bash.org. Here are some examples:

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in *beep* EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our *beep* phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! *beep* *beep* *beep*
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

or

<DaZE> at my school.. the cop from DARE passed around 3 joints to show everyone... and he said "if i dont get all three of these back this schools getting locked down and everyones getting searched till i find it.." and like 30 minutes later when everyone got to see 'em and they got passed back the cop had 4

or

<Eticam> I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm
<Eticam> And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then
<Eticam> When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass
<Eticam> Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat
<Eticam> The girl started crying and left class ^^

by **Miszczu** » Mon Oct 02, 2006 23:20

Bono is at a U2 concert in Dublin when he asks the audience for some quiet. Then in the silence, he starts to slowly clap his hands. Holding the audience in total silence, he says in to the microphone... "Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies." A voice from near the front pierces the silence... "Well, f*cking stop clapping then"

by **Viduus** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 0:50

Not a joke ...but I laughed hard:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TICFnQK1tAc&NR

by **Szeryf** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 8:53

hahahah good one viduus i like it

by **wenszy** » Tue Oct 10, 2006 15:43

warren is it possible to download that clip of Warren the Ape in the casino ?! I couldnt find anything to downlaod it. youtube is different from video.google.nl.

I wanna show that clip to others on my ipod with other funny clpis as thriump the insul comedy dog and yucko the clown haha.

by **horzy** » Tue Oct 17, 2006 23:09

Yo, people..do you know what has a rabbit on his back when he flys?

AN EAGLE!!!!!!

Oh, oh oh oh..check this!!!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... +francisco

by **Ammz** » Wed Oct 18, 2006 13:36

ROFLAMFAO THIS IS EXTREME FUN!!!

You guys rock on jokes haha!! xD!!!

here is a nice one

#658119 +(333)- [X]

<TreCool> I had the stupidest secretary ever today at the unviersity. I walked in to get my transcripts and she tells me she needs my school ID number and my first and last name. Now I'm wearing my hat that has my last name on the back of it over the Oilers symbol and I'm wearing the hat backwards so its right out there for her to see. So anyway, I give her my id number and my first name then say my last name. The secretary said "Oh cool! Just like the one on your hat! Now how do you spell that?" I was like "...". I was so tempted to *beep* slap that moron.

by **Xeron_ulta** » Fri Oct 27, 2006 17:19

What means by girls red panskit?

Hold on, wrong hole!!!

by **Ammz** » Sun Oct 29, 2006 19:55

HAHAHA FREAKING SHIT THIS ONE IS CRACKING ME UP!!!

#207373 +(12466)- [X]

<anamexis> oh man
<anamexis> I was opening a coke, right
--> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind
<anamexis> and it exploded
<anamexis> ALMOST all over my keyboard
<anamexis> but I got it away just in time
<-- Beefpile has quit (sick *beep*)
<anamexis> :<

HAHAHA ROFL!!!

by **icefrost** » Mon Oct 30, 2006 17:51

How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

by **Ammz** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 21:58

icefrost wrote:How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

Here is the U.S.A version rofl...

There is a reason for why tornadoes in U.S.A are named after women... They both come wild and wet. And when they leave they take your house and car

by **icefrost** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 22:40

hehe ammz but just like the same :wink:

every way shows... woman's suxx ^^

by **Miszczu** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 23:18

icefrost wrote:... woman's suxx ^^

Ice is gay. Thats the proof

by **icefrost** » Tue Nov 07, 2006 23:19

damn u catched me

nah i like just 1 girl <3

okay stop offtopic now ^^

by **GoldenBullet** » Wed Nov 08, 2006 15:34

This happened in real life. In fact, to me and my friend

I was on break. My school friends came from shop and gave me some candy. That's strange I thought. I kept one candy and gave rest to my friend (let us say, CJ.) CJ got some other candy from my other friends. Then my other friends gave me some more candy. Once again, I kept 1-2 and gave rest to CJ. One more time they gave me candy. I passed again some candy to my friend CJ. RING said the school bell and we separted to different classes. After a lesson, I met my friends at a break. CJ didnt look very good. I asked: wazzup? Others showed me the candy bag, where were the candy. Behind it, it said: When eaten in bid ammounts, may cause effects of laxative. So They were trying to "poison" me, But because I passed most of them To CJ, he got sick

. RING said the bell again. We went to a lesson all together. CJ had a big sh*t coming, but he didnt ask teacher to go to toilet. It took bit longer than usual before lesson ended. Cj asked to go to toilet. Teacher said: Yea sure. Anytime U want. So he waited 45 mins for nothing. And Finally he went to toilet. after 5 mins he came and took key to that toilet! Man I laughed like an *ss!

Hopefully U understand what I said

jokes-post some jokes

jokes-post some jokes

lol

Rabbit

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