jokes-post some jokes
by RamboBoy » Sat Jan 17, 2009 0:42
(after everything i say say i'm a man)
a man walked into the bank got 1,000,000dollars said im a man
he walked into the bar said im a man
drank 10 kegs full of hard liquir said im a man
found a lady brought her back to his house had sex with her and she said im a man
LOL
a man walked into the bank got 1,000,000dollars said im a man
he walked into the bar said im a man
drank 10 kegs full of hard liquir said im a man
found a lady brought her back to his house had sex with her and she said im a man
LOL
by Death » Thu Feb 12, 2009 23:55
lol dead topic anyway.
A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
OR
Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
A new teacher tries to make use of her psychology courses. The first day of class, she starts by saying, "Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!"
After a few seconds, Little Johnny stands up. The teacher asks, "Do you think you're stupid, Johnny?"
"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself."
OR
Little Johnny walks into his dad's bedroom and sees him sliding on a condom. His father tries to hide it by bending over, as if to look under the bed.
Little Johnny asks curiously, "What are you doing, Dad?"
His father quickly replies, "I thought I saw a mouse go underneath the bed."
Little Johnny replies, "What are you gonna do -- screw him?"
by Smadje » Fri Feb 13, 2009 12:15
Bagerro wrote:How to make that a girl will scream for 30 min after a good sex?
clean your penis with the curtain...
Hahaha good one
quoting deep:
henksmadje please read topic more carefully and other topics too where u reply, then u get the point and dont have to make stupid posts.
henksmadje please read topic more carefully and other topics too where u reply, then u get the point and dont have to make stupid posts.
by DaRkMaN » Tue Nov 24, 2009 11:35
Here is one old
Guy ownes a store and hires a new guy as salesmen.
After his first day boss comes and askes new guy how much money did he earn?
He says:"370 000 euros"! Boss cant belive him,he asks how did you manage to sell stuff for 370 000 euros???
Well boss one gentelman come here and i sold him fish hook.boss says:"fish hook???? You sold guy a fish hook for 370 000 euros???"
Guy:"no,then i asked him if he has naylon and stick and the rest of fishing eqipment,he said:"no",so i sold him that too,then i asked him where he is going on a fishing?he said north on that lake,where i noticed that there fish are better cathing from boat then from the coast so i sold him a boat,since he didnt have trailer for boat i sold him trailer too,then we saw his VW polo cant pull this fisherman with trailer,i sold him a new Toyota land crusier!
And boss on that says:"you sold all that to a guy who came to buy fish hook?????"
And that new sales guys says:"no,no boos,he come here to buy ALWAYS for his wife,but i noticed that so i said to gentelman:"well Sir if you cant f..k this weekend atleast you could go fishing".".
preaty long i dont like to read long jokes but this one i love!
Guy ownes a store and hires a new guy as salesmen.
After his first day boss comes and askes new guy how much money did he earn?
He says:"370 000 euros"! Boss cant belive him,he asks how did you manage to sell stuff for 370 000 euros???
Well boss one gentelman come here and i sold him fish hook.boss says:"fish hook???? You sold guy a fish hook for 370 000 euros???"
Guy:"no,then i asked him if he has naylon and stick and the rest of fishing eqipment,he said:"no",so i sold him that too,then i asked him where he is going on a fishing?he said north on that lake,where i noticed that there fish are better cathing from boat then from the coast so i sold him a boat,since he didnt have trailer for boat i sold him trailer too,then we saw his VW polo cant pull this fisherman with trailer,i sold him a new Toyota land crusier!
And boss on that says:"you sold all that to a guy who came to buy fish hook?????"
And that new sales guys says:"no,no boos,he come here to buy ALWAYS for his wife,but i noticed that so i said to gentelman:"well Sir if you cant f..k this weekend atleast you could go fishing".".
preaty long i dont like to read long jokes but this one i love!
by chimera » Sun Sep 26, 2010 21:42
All the physicists are playing hide and seek. Einstein is the ‘den’ and stands against the wall with his eyes closed and counts till 100 to enable all the physicists to run and hide. At the count of 100 Einstein turns around and finds Newton standing there.
He screams, “Newton, you are out!†Newton says, “No, I ‘m not!â€
Einstein says, “Yes, you are. I can see you here in front of meâ€.
Newton says, “I’m not out. Pascal is.â€
Einstein is a bit confused and starts to scratch his head and beard.
Newton says “Here, Let me explainâ€
He draws a square one meter by one meter on the floor and stands in the middle of it and says,
“Newton per meter square is a Pascal, so it’s Pascal who’s out not meâ€
He screams, “Newton, you are out!†Newton says, “No, I ‘m not!â€
Einstein says, “Yes, you are. I can see you here in front of meâ€.
Newton says, “I’m not out. Pascal is.â€
Einstein is a bit confused and starts to scratch his head and beard.
Newton says “Here, Let me explainâ€
He draws a square one meter by one meter on the floor and stands in the middle of it and says,
“Newton per meter square is a Pascal, so it’s Pascal who’s out not meâ€
- pompidom_23
-
- Posts: 1288
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:00
- Location: Belgium, ps#5
Re: jokes-post some jokes
by pompidom_23 » Sat Dec 04, 2010 21:35
Szeryf wrote:- Name?
- Abu Dalah Sarafi.
- Sex?
- Four times a week.
- No, no, no..... male or female?
- Male, female...... sometimes camel.......
Lol xd
"Am I the first man you have ever loved?" he said.
"Of course," she answered "Why do men always ask the same question?".
Pompidom :)
teKno
Dont drink and drive, just smoke and fly !
by simson » Fri Apr 29, 2011 16:42
Pregnancy
Three friends decide to get a drink at the local bar. After the had a few they start talking about their wife and pregnancies. So the first one starts talking:
'My wife was watching the movie Twins, before we knew it se was pregnant of a twin'
Comes the second guy, i exactly know what u mean dude:
'My wife was reading the book Tree musketeers, before i knew a triplet was born'
Before they know the last friend decides to run as hell and grab his coat. The other to shout at him:
WHAT THE HELL ARE U DOING, U DIN'T EVEN FINISH YOUR BEER!
So the third friend replies: but my wife is reading: Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.[/i]
Nasty Santa
Johnny comes to santa and takes a seat, on Santa's lap:
Santa: Johnny i know exactly what u want for christmas..
Johnny: Oh yeah, what do i want for christmas...?
Santa: U want the formula 1 car from the matchbox series...
Johnny: Santa how did u know that...
Santa: I can feel my nose twitch, but the formula 1 car isn't the only thing u want for christmas is it. U also want a racetrack for christmas...
Johnny: OMG how do u know i want a racetrack for christmas..
Santa: Like i said i feel my nose twitch...
Johnny: I also know what Santa's wants for christmas..
Santa: Huh, what does santa want for christmas then ?
Johnny: Young underage girls...
Santa: How the hell do u know that ?
Johnny: I can smell it on you finger...
Three friends decide to get a drink at the local bar. After the had a few they start talking about their wife and pregnancies. So the first one starts talking:
'My wife was watching the movie Twins, before we knew it se was pregnant of a twin'
Comes the second guy, i exactly know what u mean dude:
'My wife was reading the book Tree musketeers, before i knew a triplet was born'
Before they know the last friend decides to run as hell and grab his coat. The other to shout at him:
WHAT THE HELL ARE U DOING, U DIN'T EVEN FINISH YOUR BEER!
So the third friend replies: but my wife is reading: Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves.[/i]
Nasty Santa
Johnny comes to santa and takes a seat, on Santa's lap:
Santa: Johnny i know exactly what u want for christmas..
Johnny: Oh yeah, what do i want for christmas...?
Santa: U want the formula 1 car from the matchbox series...
Johnny: Santa how did u know that...
Santa: I can feel my nose twitch, but the formula 1 car isn't the only thing u want for christmas is it. U also want a racetrack for christmas...
Johnny: OMG how do u know i want a racetrack for christmas..
Santa: Like i said i feel my nose twitch...
Johnny: I also know what Santa's wants for christmas..
Santa: Huh, what does santa want for christmas then ?
Johnny: Young underage girls...
Santa: How the hell do u know that ?
Johnny: I can smell it on you finger...
by lazy-lion » Thu May 12, 2011 16:49
Ahahaha! Hilarious!
"Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win." - Gary Lineker
by Ajit » Tue May 17, 2011 14:08
i have to post it
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/v/BriU4G33Hd0&feature=player_embedded#at=104[/youtube]
f*ck yeah!
by Ajit » Fri Jun 10, 2011 18:51
http://itnurk.com/urod/20821/
You can't understand the language, but you will understand the jokeDDDDDDD
That clip is from TV show.
You can't understand the language, but you will understand the joke
DDDDDDD
That clip is from TV show.
by lazy-lion » Fri Jun 10, 2011 21:38
Death wrote:Am I glad Chrome has an incognito ability :>
You didnt knew that? pff I know it for ages. XDDD
Its handy if you want to look for a gift to somebody and you dont want them to find out when they look in your history..
Yeah right, We all know better. XD
"Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans always win." - Gary Lineker
by DMG_Kowi » Fri Jul 15, 2011 14:04
Little Johny got railway model for christmas. He's playing, he stop the train and says:
- Warsaw East Station. Get in, get out, get the f*ck in, get the f*ck out.
His dad hears that, comes and says:
- Johny, don't say words like this, it's very bad, ok?
- Ok, ok.
Fun goes on. Johny stops the train again.
- Warsaw Central Station. Get in, get out, get the f*ck in, get the f*ck out.
Dad comes and says:
- I told you Johny. One more curse and I'm taking the train.
- Sorry, dad, I'm sorry, I won't do that again.
But situation reapeats for the 3rd time.
- Lodz Factory Station. Get in, get out, get the f*ck in, get the f*ck out.
Dad got pissed of and took whole railway as a punishment.
However after an hour dad got soft, came to Johny and asked him:
- Would you play nicely? Wouldn't you say bad words?
- Sure, dad I wouldn't, I swear, etc...
So after one hour Johny had his railway back, so he resumed his play. After some time he stops the train and says:
- Cracow Central Station. Get in, get out, get the f*ck in, get the f*ck out. BUT FAST, WE'RE ONE HOUR LATE, CAUSE OF THIS DICK.
- Warsaw East Station. Get in, get out, get the f*ck in, get the f*ck out.
His dad hears that, comes and says:
- Johny, don't say words like this, it's very bad, ok?
- Ok, ok.
Fun goes on. Johny stops the train again.
- Warsaw Central Station. Get in, get out, get the f*ck in, get the f*ck out.
Dad comes and says:
- I told you Johny. One more curse and I'm taking the train.
- Sorry, dad, I'm sorry, I won't do that again.
But situation reapeats for the 3rd time.
- Lodz Factory Station. Get in, get out, get the f*ck in, get the f*ck out.
Dad got pissed of and took whole railway as a punishment.
However after an hour dad got soft, came to Johny and asked him:
- Would you play nicely? Wouldn't you say bad words?
- Sure, dad I wouldn't, I swear, etc...
So after one hour Johny had his railway back, so he resumed his play. After some time he stops the train and says:
- Cracow Central Station. Get in, get out, get the f*ck in, get the f*ck out. BUT FAST, WE'RE ONE HOUR LATE, CAUSE OF THIS DICK.
by Ajit » Sun Oct 23, 2011 14:38
http://soundcloud.com/ooarei/m1ke-long
I just didn't know where to post thatDDDDDDDD
Just listen to this epic convesation in teamspeak That happened last night xDDD
I just didn't know where to post that
DDDDDDDD
Just listen to this epic convesation in teamspeak
That happened last night xDDDby Ajit » Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:44
xochi wrote:Bahahaha MIKE So funny guy.
this mike is from slovenia (etpro mate)
D
man, that was just hilarious
DDDDDDDD
hvk- Mike how much have you smoked today?
mike- 2 joints
(people laughing)
hvk (laughing)- how much have you drink?
mike- like 3 bears
(everyone laughing, bears wth - should be beers)
mike- half of captain morgan epic rum
hste- there isn't such a thing like captain morgan epic rum
----
hste- how many chicks did you bang tonight?
mike- stupid question but i'm gay
(all laughing)
hste- okey, in that case how many guys?
mike, how many question in my apparment, wait
hste- he is counting
DDDD
mike- 5
(all laughing)
hste- what you are planning to do with those guys tonight?
mike- when they fall asleep....
(all laughing)
----
there is 1 more naked baby story
DDDDD
http://soundcloud.com/ooarei/m1ke-vs-tropic
- pompidom_23
-
- Posts: 1288
- Joined: Fri Jan 29, 2010 1:00
- Location: Belgium, ps#5
by pompidom_23 » Thu Sep 05, 2013 17:49
You are so hot blaz 
Pompidom :)
teKno
Dont drink and drive, just smoke and fly !
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